Profound

Tonight at church, we were asked to pray and ask God to help us to 'remove' the things in our hearts and minds that may keep us from being Christ-like. And after the few weeks I have had, whew! I may have been there a LONG time! Now, to clarify, God is going to love me whether I ask Him to show me or not. He loves me and I can choose to stay in the pit I am in, or I can choose to ask for His help to get out of it. I am choosing to get OUT!

God gave me a few scriptures. The first set was this: Luke 6:20-36. I am going to post the scripture in "The Message" translation because WHOA!!! However, feel free to look it up in whichever translation you prefer (i.e. King James, NIV, etc.)

You are blessed when you have lost it all.
God's kingdom is there for the finding.
You are blessed when you are ravenously hungry.
Then you are ready for the Messianic meal.
You are blessed when the tears flow freely.
Joy comes with the morning.

22-23"Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down or throws you out, every time someone smears or blackens your name to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—skip like a lamb, if you like!—for even though they do not like it, I do . . . and all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company; my preachers and witnesses having always been treated like this.
Give Away Your Life

24But it is trouble ahead if you think you have it made. What you have is all you will ever get.

25And it is trouble ahead if you are satisfied with yourself. Your self will not satisfy you for long.

And its trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games. There is suffering to be met, and you are going to meet it. (HELLO!)

26"There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests — look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular. (OUCH!)

27-30"To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, gift-wrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

31-34"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that is charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

35-36"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You will never — I promise — regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we are at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

The second set was Matthew 7 ... yes the WHOLE thing. Again, it is in The Message translation:

A Simple Guide for Behavior

1-5 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It is easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It is this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. (Again, OUCH!)

6"Do not be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Do not reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you are only being cute and inviting sacrilege. ..

7-11"Do not bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you
need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we are in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you would not think of such a thing. You are at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love would be even better?

12"Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.

Being and Doing

13-14"Do not look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Do not fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention.

15-20"Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Do not be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. These diseased trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned.

(This WHOLE next paragraph got me!)
21-23"Knowing the correct password — saying 'Master, Master,' for instance — is not going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience — doing what my Father wills. I can see it now — at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You do not impress me one bit. You're out of here.'

24-25"These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.

26-27"But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards."

28-29When Jesus concluded his address, the crowd burst into applause. They had never heard teaching like this. It was apparent that he was living everything he was saying—quite a contrast to their religion teachers! This was the best teaching they had ever heard.

I know He was telling me several areas I need to shape up in. However, He also showed me grace in these passages to and answered some prayers at the same time! He is so awesome.
I just wanted to share this and I hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me. God is faithful and lovely, even when we are not. And more importantly, He does not expect us to 'clean ourselves up' before we come to Him. He wants to do that. He loves us JUST the way we are. But He loves us too much to leave us the way we are! God bless!

Random Words

There are days when I have joy unspeakable.
There are days when I don't.

Does this mean that God isn't working in me?

No, I don't think so.
I think He helps us walk the road before us. I think He allows things to fall in our path to direct us. I know that He never leaves us or forsakes us, for this is His promise.

I want to know I make Him proud. I know that there are many, many days when I am not even proud of myself. It seems like when I think I have a mountain figured out, I have to cross it again. I think that means I really didn't have it figured out. Maybe it is a different mountain altogether. Maybe not.

I know that life is a journey. If it were 'just' about getting saved, we would go to heaven as soon as we accept Jesus into our hearts. I believe that.

I believe that we are here for many reasons. On this Earth. To praise Him. To bless Him. To get to know Him. To learn who He is. And importantly, to learn who we are .... to Him. If I could just get a grasp on that, I would be in such a good place!

I know I have an inheritance in Him. When I truly understand what that means, and what all that entails, you will NOT be able to stop me!

I can't wait to walk this road with Jesus. He is my Wonderful Counselor! And He has blessed me with many people to inspire me to get out of bed every day. I know why He loves them so much, so why is it hard to know why He loves me?

Many questions, many answers.

I know that the dark is getting darker in this world. I know that God says He will pour His spirit out and the light will get lighter. I need to seek after Him if I don't see this. It isn't because He isn't doing what He said He would, that is for sure.

I love Him!

Oh where did my Mariah go?

My daughter is in the 6th grade and a very responsible 11 year old at that. She sets her alarm every morning, gets herself dressed, brushes her hair and teeth, makes her own breakfast and gets her lunch ready ... all of this before I get out of bed, mind you!! She has been doing this for a few years now!! Yes, I am blessed! I know this! My second child, I can only pray, will do the same, but I do know that the odds are not in my favor! Anyhow, I digress...

Mariah comes home from school today and tells me that she has a few little 6th grade boys that have been telling her she has "caught their fancy" ... and NO this is not the phrase she used, but I really don't want to repeat what she told me they said! Well, okay, you asked for it! Mom, they said I was HOT! sniff, sniff!

Okay, I now know the names of eight to ten little boys ... some of them I already know .... some of them live nearby .... ONE LIVES ACROSS THE STREET! And one is the lovely boy who introduced my precious baby to colorful language the first week in kindergarten! But again, I digress.

Yes, I know ... every mother goes through this moment of terror, and you know, it isn't that I am having a coronary issue because these boys think my daughter is this great and wonderful human being, well, I already knew she was! That isn't the issue! The issue is because she is more interested in the fact that they are interested in HER!! This is the issue I have. Last year, some of these same boys had a little crush on her, and she came home and told me about it. No big deal. "What do I tell him, Mom? I am too young for a boyfriend, and besides, GROSS!!!"

All the while, I am thinking, "Thank you, Jesus, Lordy, Jesus, Mighty, Lordy, Jesus! How much longer is this going to last?" Because I hear what her friends were saying about these same boys, "goo-goo, gaa-gaa .... so and so is so cute, do you think he thinks I am cute, do you think he likes me, " and Mariah is saying, "What idiots! What time is my game, Mom?"

Well, not anymore, thank you very much.

My baby. Who just a few short years ago, while laying on her bed with her, she was pouring her heart out to me about how much she loves Jesus and how she wants Him to live in her "neck" (meaning heart) forever!

And the same sweet baby, who would tell me how she used to watch me from heaven when I was a little girl while I would play with my baby dolls and kitchen set and she said she couldn't wait until I was her Mom! She told me this when she was three years old that she would watch me play and she always knew I was going to be the best Mom.

This is also the same responsible baby who realizing that she was at the wedding of her parents said to me at FOUR YEARS OLD, "Mom, don't you know that God wants you to get married before you have kids!?" And I said right back to her, "YES! You are most certainly right, He certainly does!" She then said right back before I could go into any kind of explanation of how sometimes people make mistakes, "Yes, but Jesus knew that I REALLY wanted to be at your wedding and see you in your princess dress, so He let this one slide!"

Yes, I know! You don't have to tell me!

My baby was told about Jesus at a very early age. She was prayed over daily, many times, anointed from head to toe, window sills and door posts; and that didn't just have to do with the colic she had, nor the not sleeping through the night until she was four years old!

She and I have had lengthy conversations about Jesus and end time’s situations. She knows things that I didn't know at her age. I didn't come to know the Lord until I was her age now, and I always said that when I had children, they would know EVERYTHING. I would never hide anything from them. I sat Mariah down not too long ago and had a talk with her about the condition this world was in when she came home and asked me about a friend of hers. She knew that her friend didn't know Jesus and she was afraid that if she died, she wouldn't go to heaven. My daughter is a prayer warrior. She has been prophesied over many, many times. She has a gift of intercession and when the Holy Spirit comes upon her to intercede, watch out! Things happen!!

When she was three years old, we had a dog that escaped from our back yard, not once, but twice the dog got out of our yard. The first time we saw her get out. We put her back out in the yard, but I thought we had fixed where she had gotten out. When we came back home, the dog was gone. Needless to say, Mariah was devastated. We searched and searched for the dog, but she was nowhere to be found. The next day as we were getting ready to leave for work, I knelt down and, I don't know why I said this, because deep down, I knew the dog was gone, I knew someone had kept the dog, she was a wonderful, friendly dog, but I told her, "Let's pray and maybe someone will find her or she will come home!" She said, "You pray, and I will say it after you!" So I said this simple prayer and she repeated it after me. The whole time I was thinking, "You IDIOT! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? What are you going to do when this dog doesn't come home!?" Rich pretty much said the same thing to me as we were walking out to the car that morning! We go to work and she goes to daycare.

A few hours later, Rich calls me at work and says, " YOU are NEVER going to believe THIS! I just heard on the radio that there is a dog that turned up in our neighborhood that is believed to be lost and it matches the description to our dog!" So he called the radio station and went to the house at lunch and sure enough, it was the stinking dog!!!! Now, it surely wasn't MY faith that brought that dog home! And it wasn't Rich's either!!!

I said all of that to say this .....

I pray that Jesus stays first and foremost in her life, in spite of the "boy issue" that I knew would eventually come up. I know that there is coming a time in her life where He won't be at the very TOP of her priorities .... Her teenage life, hormones, high school, sports, friends, driving, etc. I remember being that age, but I also remember God being in that picture. I remember being blessed with friends that LOVED God (and I am still blessed to have those SAME ladies in my life today!) I believe that she has the root of God's first love in her heart deeply planted, and I know that it can NOT be uprooted! I pray for GODLY friends to be planted in her life, just as I had, and another thing I pray for, I pray for a Godly BEST FRIEND to be placed in her life at JUST the right time to bless her, just as He did for me! I am reaping the harvest of that friendship to this VERY DAY and I know that I will reap that harvest throughout eternity! I pray that for my baby! For both my babies!

As always, I pray this prayer for both of my children, although, this prayer applies to Mariah at this VERY moment; it will apply to Madison in the VERY near future, unfortunately! And of course, as always, I always pray the same prayers for my nieces as I do for my own daughters! They are my God-babies!

So, again, Lord, I give these baby girls right back to you, at these moments in their lives, where once again, I cannot follow after them, shadow them, critique them; however YOU can, Lord, and You can do a MUCH better job at keeping them safe, keeping them happy, keeping them healthy, keeping them SANE, but most important keep them growing closer to YOU. Also, Lord, keep the boys at bay. Direct my girls' paths to YOU! I pray that they would hide themselves so completely in you, Lord Jesus, that a man would have to seek after You to find them!

I love You Lord, for entrusting them to me! I don't take the job lightly!

Who are we desiring?

I have noticed this in my life as well, so I know this has to be right on!

We complain and complain that things don't go the way we want them to in our lives. We don't have the right 'things' or 'people' in our lives. We forget that we have made the choices to bring the 'things' and 'people' in our lives to begin with. We blame God because He hasn't answered our prayers to bring what we want in our lives to us.

The truth of the matter is .... He gives us the desires of our hearts. He is our Father in Heaven. He wants what is best for us, YES, but He wants to give us what we want as well. Now, if what we want is drugs, or relationships that is going to destroy us, well, maybe He will direct us to show us that we really don't want those things after all. But what I mean is, I have seen this in my very own life. . . I have prayed countless times .... Lord, help me change ..... because I want ... blah, blah, blah. (NOT ... Lord help me change because I want to please you.) I want to please Him from now on. I really do. I saw on an acquaintance's myspace page how she really messed up and the 'love of her life' doesn't want her anymore, so now she is going to do anything she can to get him back, which means, she has to turn to God. That doesn't mean she has realized she needs to change because God has shown her this realization. She just knows that he isn't going to take her back unless he sees a change in her. The Holy Spirit is probably speaking to him and telling him, this is probably not the girl for you, dude. Which I would agree. That doesn't discount the girl. Jesus loves her just as much! But my heart breaks for the girl, because she has yet to hit the bottom of the barrel. What she thinks the end of her life is this boy not loving her. She has yet to find 'her' and what she has seen of herself, she is not satisfied with. She needs Jesus desperately and deeply. When I think of the song "Hungry," I think of this girl, and I see her one day on her face weeping, singing this song to Him:

Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty
But I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You
I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for
Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know
Your touch restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm praying for you Kayley!
I'm praying that you will one day realize that Jesus is the one you need to fall in love with and He is the one that you need more than air, more than the next heartbeat!

Been a while, I know!

Just touching base! I know it has been a little while. I have a been debating on what and when to really blog on here. There are many things I want to say and to blog about. Many things that God is talking to me about.

I want to write in my journal, everything just seems so 'personal' and I don't know really what is for me to hear, to receive, to share. There are things that I know I can share with my close friends who love Jesus, you know, my prayer partners, there are a few christian ladies out there that I share just about everything with. There are a select few that I don't hide much from. You know who you are. And there is one that knows EVERYTHING. Things that I'm not even aware of. There are things that He shows me that is sometimes so private, so personal, that can't be shared, not because I do not want these things shared, but because it feels like I am uncovering something that shouldn't be uncovered or maybe it is out of shame. Almost like bearing your soul and you are afraid that those who see what is uncovered, will run away. I know that Jesus only uncovers these things in us to show us that He knows us inside out and that He isn't afraid of what is inside us, that He loved us before we knew of these things, before we even knew we were sinners, loved us while we were sinners. He doesn't want to leave us the way we are.

I know there are things that are private, between my Lord and I, and I am finding that those things are more than I realized. I am amazed, because I am the type of person that wears her heart on her sleeve, so to speak. I always speak what is on my heart and you will always know what is on my mind. It is not a normal thing for me to keep things hidden. I don't want them to be hidden, and they are not hidden from God. I guess I am just not ready for the world to see them.

I know at this point, my blogs are more personal, I haven't told anyone I have this blog. I haven't shared this website with any friends, and not that I don't plan to, I just hadn't really gotten into the habit, yet, of writing. I know God is wanting to use this blog. I know He has big plans for me. I can't wait to see what He has for me!! Until then, I pray that I allow God to open me up more and more to His presence. I pray that I will experience more and more of HIM!

I love you Jesus! No matter what, no matter who is in my life, you are the most important thing! You HAVE TO BE!!!

My first blog!

Well, here we go!
My first one! And I hope to get better at this as I go! I have been meaning to do this for years now. God told me a year ago that I was going to write a book. I have always wanted to write one. I believe that He gives us the desires of our hearts. I know that sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, but I think that usually we have to do things that we didn't know we wanted to do. Does that make sense?
As children, we feel we are always being 'bossed' around by our parents, and sometimes, even as adults, don't we still feel that way about God? (laughter!) But, God is after our hearts, just as we are after our children's hearts, yet He always has our best interest at heart at the same time. We are always some one's child. Whether it is an earthly parent, or a spiritual one! Whether we are choosing to serve Him or not, He has commanded His love to us. Now isn't that grace? I love Him so much! And I know that I fail every single day, in every single way; but I know that He never gives up. And He doesn't see me as failing, but as just walking in what He has already done for me. I have learned so much in the last few years in my walk with Him. I want to get it all out on paper, so to speak, so that I can share it with others. It is hidden in my heart, but I would love to have it to pass around as well. Another reason to blog!
I hope this blog blesses you as well as it will me!